Acrobat Pro 9, X, and XI refuse to install

I recently upgraded my current machine and repaved it. I am trying to get Acrobat Pro reinstalled. I've tried Acrobat 9, X, and the XI trial.
For all three versions, the install completes, but when I run the actual Acrobat application I get a dialog saying:
Please uninstall and reinstall the product.
If this problem still occurs, please contact Adobe technical support for help, and
mention the error code shown at the bottom of this screen.
Error: 16
I've reinstalled, rebooted, uninstalled, in every permutation I can think of. The above error is for the Acrobat XI download. I've also gotten Error: 6. The PDF print driver did install and works, but I want the actual Acrobat app.
This is standalone Acrobat, not part of CS Studio or any other package.
My machine:
WIndows 8 64 bit
Intel i7 CPU
8 GB RAM
over 500 GB free on C: drive
Any suggestions?

Hi ap9ut4vn,
Error 16 usually comes up due to permission issues.
Please check the solution 1 of the KB Doc : http://helpx.adobe.com/x-productkb/policy-pricing/configuration-error-cs5.html
If the installation completes and you are unable to launch the software, you can try the below mentioned basic troubleshooting steps :
> Enable the hidden Admin Account on Windows 7 ( Ref :  http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/windows-vista/enable-the-hidden-adminis trator-account-on-windows-vista/ )
> Disable all Non-Microsoft Startup Services. (Ref : http://helpx.adobe.com/x-productkb/global/disable-startup-items-servic es-windows.html )
> Disable all the Antivirus softwares like CA, Norton,Mc Afee etc. temporarily from the computer.
Reboot and try installing in the enabled Administrator account and check.

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