Add alarms to accepted ics invites in iCal?

I found several discussions regarding editing .ics invitations in iCal but all were several years old.  Here's hoping that there is something more recent.
Most of the time, I simply want to add an alarm to the invited event.  I cannot:  drag the event to the desktop, as suggested in one answer, because "only the organizer can edit this event"; duplicate the event without sending notifications to everyone else invited; and of course, there is no 'edit' button available.
Is there any solution out there that is quicker and simpler than creating a dummy event for just adding a separate alarm?

Hi John,
I never expected to get the developer on here!
Here's how I've got it set up...
General tab
I've got the Sync Address Book dates to iCal checked.
For Birthday events and Anniversary events I've got the text "Birthdays and Anniversaries" so that they both go into the same calendar.
I've left only sync for group blank as I want it for all.
Titles tab
For both Birthday and Anniversary I've got the the same fields, set to...
    First name | Last name | : | type | age
Alarms tab
In this tab I've got
Email:  5 days before at 08:00 ticked for Birthdays and Anniversaries
Message:  4 days before at 10:00 ticked for Birthdays and Anniversaries
I've got no other alarms set.
I've got the email set to my personal email address.
The path for the alarms to my Home folder
Sound for alarms as Basso
When I then close Dates 2 iCal it creates the events in iCal, but not the alarms.
One further query, I've just done a reinstall of my system and since reinstalling Dates 2 iCal the Buy/Register button is greyed out, so I'm unable to reregister it, I purchased it a good while back as I've found it a really useful tool.
Many thanks
Steve

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