Address Book - Managing the madness, lol

This is hardly a pressing issue but wondering how everyone manages their contacts. Odd things...
My brother had a baby. Do you create a contact so the birthday can be entered and is now on my birthday calendar?
Are my brother and sister in law separate contacts? Same as above for the birthday thing but what about the shared address?
At some point I will learn to do a mail merge and the 3 example above would create 3 letters because they all have the same cards? Should just generate a "Jane and Michael Jones" in the merge but this would require an entry like that i would think.
Another example along these lines is having friends and mailing holiday cards but you might end up with each person's cell plus their home phone, different emails and so on.
Practical solutions?
TIA

OK, found this related names field and sort of works.
I can see where you have a business contact and they talk about their spouse or kids and this would be an easy way to make a note.
Are you saying that if I mailed my brother a Christmas card it would gett addressed Brother & Spouse, child 1, child 2, 3,4,5,6?
I suppose that in the notes i could make reference to birthdays and such but if i wanted the reminder on my calendar I could create a new contact.
My books and help didn't really go into this.
Thankk You

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