Address Book syncing is completely broken

There are other threads on this, but I'm angry enough to start my own.
Between my mac, .Mac, and my iPhone, I can't keep good contact data, almost ever. Invariably one of those devices will completely screw it up. Lately it has been syncing my iPhone: it will remove all contacts from all groups. The contacts will be present on the phone, the groups will be present, but they will be empty. The phone will infect my Address Book on my mac with this opinion, as well. Once this has happened, the Address Book will never sync to the iPhone again. It will claim to, but it doesn't really.
Another user found that deleting some files in ~/Library/Application Support/AddressBook/ (everything but the metadata folder) fixed things, which worked for me, but now everything's broken again, after I spent a good hour or so re-adding all of my contacts to all of my groups. I am very frustrated.
I have macs because they're not supposed to do this. They're supposed to work together harmoniously. But it's driving me crazy: this is 100% Apple hardware, software, and sync service, with no other weird services involved, and it still messes up. And yes, I've done just about every conceivable combination of resetting sync history and doing one-way force-syncs with .Mac. I can't understand how maintaining what is essentially text data can be this hard to get right.

I want to reiterate this problem, and see if there are any known solutions out there.
To update: I have a major problem syncing my iPhone to my computers. After a day, it think it's the authority on Contacts and Calendars, and wants to delete and replace everything on my computer. Doing this has undesirable consequences, like corrupting my Groups in my Address Book.
Here's what I have done: I have removed all computers from .Mac syncing. I added one back in, and forced .Mac to replace its data, using that computer. I then readded my other machines, and force-replaced all data on them using the .Mac data. I then synced my iPhone, and force-overwrote all info on the iPhone. At this point, everything should be a good agreement.
But no: today, the iPhone thinks that once again, it has all new data. It wants to delete 300 contacts and add 300 contacts on my computer. It wants to delete 800 calendar events and add 800 calendar events. It gets this way every day. I end up always force-writing to the iPhone, to keep it from messing up the data on my computer, and forcing a bad chain-reaction of syncs across machines. Does anyone else experience these same problems?
This. Should. Not. Be. This. Hard.

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I've been having a hard time getting the address book to sync cleanly with my Gmail account. I'm using a standard Gmail account (not Google Apps), which seems to be supported. I set this up by going into the address book preferences, checking the box for "Synchronize with Google" and putting in my username/password. It seems to accept the login information.
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Try this fix http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=2481501

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Sampling process 3337 for 3 seconds with 1 millisecond of run time between samples
Sampling completed, processing symbols...
Analysis of sampling AddressBookSync (pid 3337) every 1 millisecond
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Path:            /System/Library/Frameworks/AddressBook.framework/Versions/A/Resources/AddressBo okSync.app/Contents/MacOS/AddressBookSync
Load Address:    0x100000000
Identifier:      AddressBookSync
Version:         ??? (???)
Code Type:       X86-64 (Native)
Parent Process: SyncServer [3314]
Date/Time:       2011-05-30 10:09:28.670 -0400
OS Version:      Mac OS X 10.6.7 (10J869)
Report Version: 7

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Hi Randy,
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Address Book Sync is gunking up my MacBook Pro!

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I am new to the Blackberry. I have a Blackberry 8310 Smartphone.
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reinstalled DM 6 software several times
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Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. I'm now insane and don't know what to do.

That is certainly one option.
If you want to continue, here is a KB for activating advanced logging to see if that provides you with anything useful:
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Good luck!
Occam's Razor nearly always applies when troubleshooting technology issues!
If anyone has been helpful to you, please show your appreciation by clicking the button inside of their post. Please click here and read, along with the threads to which it links, for helpful information to guide you as you proceed. I always recommend that you treat your BlackBerry like any other computing device, including using a regular backup schedule...click here for an article with instructions.
Join our BBM Channels
BSCF General Channel
PIN: C0001B7B4 Display/Scan Bar Code
Knowledge Base Updates
PIN: C0005A9AA Display/Scan Bar Code

Google Contact / Address Book Sync

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Address Book syncing is completely broken

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