Addressbooksync takes hours and eats memory, help!

Every time I sync my iPhone or iPad with iTunes, a program called addressbooksync is starting (I checked this in the Activity monitor) and starts to use all my 16 gb memory and after that even creating virtual memory on my drive. I assume this program is syncing my addressbook info but this can't be normal behavior. Here are some screenshots.
The itunes sync takes also a very long time while syncing the addressbook, this step takes about 1 hour:
The mac is getting very slow because of this and the only way out is the do a Quit Process on the AddressbookSync in the Monitor, but of course my addressbook will not be synced when doing this. Is there something I can do to fix this problem?

I am now having a variation of this problem in 10.7.5. It started when I went to System Prefs -> iCloud and turned on Sync. (Due to a Mac theft I have been running Contacts only via iCloud.com and my iOS stuff until today.)
Indeed, AddressBookSync eats up much RAM and then goes to Virtual memory and then comes back for more RAM. Everything stops working on the Mac. (It took me 1 hour to quit Mail, Safari and System Prefts, the only things running.) The only way I could post this was to Quit the Process in Activity Monitor, enabling me to uncheck the Sync. So I effectively have no Address Book/Contact app on my hard drive.
I'm posting this while I have the window of ability to do so.
Not a happy camper.

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