After updating to IOS 8.1, I have problems sending photos in messages

I'm not at all sure how long after updating this started happening, and I'm fairly sure I just have a setting messed up someplace.
When I go into messages, contacts are listed in three different colors. Gray, green, & blue. I can send a message to any of them, but I can only send a photo to one that's listed in blue. Any of my contacts that are listed in gray or green the camera icon is grayed out and I can't send a photo to that person.
One of them is my wife and while it's been a 2-3 weeks since I've sent her a photo so I'm not sure when this changed. We both have an iPhone 6 w/ IOS 8.1. She can still send me photos.
The other side of this problem is one I've been having all along.
If I go to try and send a message in the 'Photos' app it never gives me an opportunity to select anyone from my contacts. It only comes up with a new message window and the send hotspot is also grayed out.

On the off chance anyone is watching the thread ...
I seem to have resolved the issue of sending a photo to my wife through messages by turning off iMessage, then rebooting (not resetting) the phone.
I still have the issue in Photos. If I select the share icon, then select message, it brings up a message authoring window with the photo in it, but never offers an opportunity to select a contact to send it to.

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