All my music on my itunes has now got a ! symbol next to it and no music will transfer to my iphone. Why is this?

Please can someone help me get my itunes in shape?
I started off with an iPod a couple of years ago to which i set up an iTunes account on my home computer. I thought that i could open itunes on any computer, so i opened itunes on my work computer too, and started playing music at work too. Opening itunes from computer at work to home gave me a few issues, but i always seemed to finally be able to play tunes so never really worried about it.
I got an iphone in June this year and have since left my work, so i don't have the work computer. I decided to start afresh with my itunes account and decided to set up a new account. Unfortunately itunes recognised my name/address and although i set up a new account with a different login, it claimed that i already had an account set up. So i deleted my new account and continue to use my old account.
My music is visible on iTunes, but it will not sync to my iphone as it claims that it 'cannot find the original file' Next to ALL my music has the ! symbol.
To make matters worse, my iphone went slightly wrong, so i went back to the Apple store and they happily replaced the handset for me. Would this effect my itunes considering the 'serial number' has now changed?
Basically i am wondering if i should just start again with itunes? Or can i simply delete all my music on itunes and add new stuff? Also, what will happen when i now plug in my ipod? Surely i can use and ipod and iphone from my itunes account with no problem?
God i didn't realise how bad i am with technology until now!

*** Apple! This is a joke! What kind of programmers create a new OS that does **** like this? No wonder people get annoyed with the brand. No solution seems to work on the ipod touch. I have attempted these solutions to no avail. Are Apple trying to force us to purchase all music through iTunes now?? hmmmm...is this a conspiracy?? very annoying and a very disappointed customer.
Im hoping that someone from Apple actually reviews these items and looks for key words, cos this issue with pretty much no solution and despite me sending an email through to Apple support, which has not been replied to, is one of the worst experiences I have encountered with Apple products. no wonder people keep looking at their competitors!

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