Am I too stupid to start a notebook or is something wrong?

My new MacBook Air doesn't start when I push the powerbutton. It only does if plugged in, not in battery mode. Am I too stupid to start a notebook or is something wrong?

Hmmm... When you plug it in, does the little light on the cord go green or stay amber? I guess the first thing I'd do is to plug it in and let it charge for a couple of hours (or at least until the light turned green and/or the charge level on the menu bar showed some kind of significant number, like at least 10%). If the battery was totally discharged (or disconnected) then presumably it wouldn't work in battery mode.
If you can run it plugged in and it reports that the battery is OK, and then you pull out the cord and restart and it won't start, I'd guess it was hardware. If the battery is bad or disconnected or something, presumably the battery health on the laptop would show a problem and furthermore when you were running and you took out the cord it would immediately crash.
I'm just guessing, but if you charge the battery, the battery shows good in the menu bar, and you pull it down and it shows the battery is OK, and it still won't boot in battery I'd take it to the Apple store.

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    Many times during the last 15 years, I made an effort to use GNU/Linux, mostly so-called "beginner-friendly" distributions, as my main operating system but never successfully. There were always some issues that I was too stupid or too lazy to understand and fix. So I kept using Windows and later on Mac OS X.
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              MacBook Pro (13-inch, Mid 2012)
              MacBook Pro - model: MacBookPro9,2
              1 2.9 GHz Intel Core i7 CPU: 2 cores
              8 GB RAM
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              NMPCCardDaemonVMC - Path: /System/Library/StartupItems/NMPCCardDaemonVMC
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              APPLE HDD HTS547575A9E384 disk0 : (750.16 GB)
                        disk0s1 (disk0s1) <not mounted>: 209.7 MB
                        Macintosh HD (disk0s2) /: 749.3 GB (225.09 GB free)
                        Recovery HD (disk0s3) <not mounted>: 650 MB
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              Apple Inc. FaceTime HD Camera (Built-in)
              Apple Inc. BRCM20702 Hub
                        Apple Inc. Bluetooth USB Host Controller
              Apple Computer, Inc. IR Receiver
              Apple Inc. Apple Internal Keyboard / Trackpad
    FireWire Information:
    Thunderbolt Information:
              Apple Inc. thunderbolt_bus
    Kernel Extensions:
              com.rim.driver.BlackBerryUSBDriverInt          (0.0.97)
              com.rim.driver.BlackBerryVirtualPrivateNetwork          (1.0.15)
              com.silex.driver.sxuptp          (1.5.1)
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              [loaded] com.adobe.fpsaud.plist
              [not loaded] com.Affinegy.InstaLANd.plist
              [loaded] com.intego.BackupAssistant.daemon.plist
              [loaded] com.microsoft.office.licensing.helper.plist
              [loaded] com.oracle.java.JavaUpdateHelper.plist
              [loaded] com.rim.BBDaemon.plist
              [not loaded] com.rim.nkehelper.plist
              [loaded] com.rim.tunmgr.plist
              [loaded] org.macosforge.xquartz.privileged_startx.plist
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              [failed] cn.com.zte.usbswapper.plist
              [loaded] com.Affinegy.InstaLANa.plist
              [loaded] com.intego.backupassistant.agent.plist
              [loaded] com.rim.BBLaunchAgent.plist
              [loaded] com.rim.blackberrylink.BlackBerry-Link-Helper-Agent.plist
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              [not loaded] de.novamedia.NovamediaDiskSupressor.plist
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    User Launch Agents:
              [loaded] com.adobe.ARM.202f4087f2bbde52e3ac2df389f53a4f123223c9cc56a8fd83a6f7ae.plist
              [loaded] com.google.GoogleContactSyncAgent.plist
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              Flash Player
              FUSE for OS X (OSXFUSE)
              Growl
              Java
    Internet Plug-ins:
              AdobePDFViewer.plugin
              AdobePDFViewerNPAPI.plugin
              Flash Player.plugin
              FlashPlayer-10.6.plugin
              iPhotoPhotocast.plugin
              JavaAppletPlugin.plugin
              OfficeLiveBrowserPlugin.plugin
              QuickTime Plugin.plugin
              RL Secure Plug-In Layer.plugin
              SharePointBrowserPlugin.plugin
              Silverlight.plugin
    User Internet Plug-ins:
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              RocketEngine.plugin
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    Bad Fonts:
              None
    Top Processes by CPU:
                   2%          hidd
                   2%          Safari
                   1%          EtreCheck
                   1%          fontd
                   1%          PluginProcess
                   1%          WindowServer
                   0%          WebProcess
                   0%          PeerManager
                   0%          BBLaunchAgent
                   0%          mDNSResponder
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              147 MB             WebProcess
              139 MB             Safari
              66 MB              mds
              57 MB              com.apple.dock.extra
              57 MB              CalendarAgent
              49 MB              Dock
              41 MB              BlackBerry-Link-Helper-Agent
              41 MB              Finder
              41 MB              WindowServer
              33 MB              PluginProcess
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              5.69 GB            Free RAM
              1015 MB            Active RAM
              125 MB             Inactive RAM
              1.20 GB            Wired RAM
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              0 B                Page-outs

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