AOL: deleted mail on laptop is not reflected in iTouch mail

My wife will read HER AOL e-mail on her iTouch when she is out at the office. Then later when she is home she will read her AOL e-mail via her MacBook and THEN delete messages from AOL via her main account. Yet, when she updates the mail on her iTouch the list of e-mails visible on the iTouch does not change (sync?) to reflect the deletions that she made on her MacBook. Plus it says she has something like nearly 100 messages to download?!?
I have set-up my sbcglobal account to remove e-mails from their server ONLY when it is downloaded onto my G4 at home - all other remotely accessed e-mail stays on the server until such time as I read those saved e-mails from home and then they are expunged but saved on my computer at home. I assume there is a similar setting for AOL: that is - keep everything on their server but only REMOVE it from their server when it is downloaded at home.
Or is this more of a fundamental set-up issue with the mail account on the iTouch?

You are correct in assuming that you can set the iPod to leave messages on the server. I do it all of the time.
To change the e-mail settings got to Settings > Mail, Contacts, Calendars > Account Name > Advanced. You will see a setting "Delete from server" option that you can set to what you need.
This is correct as long as you are dealing with a pop account. If AOL mail is imap, then deleting items on the touch results in inbox items being deleted on the server.
Mail syncing on the touch via iTunes does not sync messages, however. Your wife will have to delete messages on her touch after she reads them. The only way around this, at least currently, is to use Apple's Mobile Me system.

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