Apple Mail and Gmail IMAP

With the iPhone coming to Verizon soon, I'd like to move back to Apple Mail from Gmail, but still want to keep Gmail as my source because my domain is setup with Google Apps but mostly because of the unparalleled spam filtering Gmail has. My problem is that even though I've configured Apple Mail exactly as Google recommends (shown below), I still have some issues.
From the Mail menu, click Preferences > *Accounts > Mailbox Behaviors*
Drafts:
Store draft messages on the server > *do NOT check*
Sent:
Store sent messages on the server > *do NOT check*
Junk:
Store junk messages on the server > checked
Delete junk messages when > Never
Trash:
Move deleted messages to the Trash mailbox > *do NOT check*
Store deleted messages on the server > *do NOT check*
I want to have true IMAP functionality here, but I'm not getting it. Sent messages work fine...if I send a message, it shows up in Apple Mail in the Sent folder and when I go to Gmail it is also in the Sent folder. BUT...when I delete a message in Apple Mail it goes to the Gmail *All Mail* folder (in Apple Mail and Gmail) and never shows up in the Gmail Trash on either Apple Mail or Gmail...where it should. I've tried changing the settings under *Apple Mail > Trash* but that doesn't fix the problem.
I realize some of you might be inclined to say "It's Google problem...ask there" but I'm hoping a Gmail user here might have had this same issue before. Even as a dedicated Apple person for many years, I still can't give up Gmail and their spam filtering that Apple Mail can't come close to. Thanks for any suggestions.

Thanks, Andy. I should have posted a closure statement on this thread as I finally figured everything out. The most frustrating thing is Google's own advice at http://mail.google.com/support/bin/answer.py?answer=78892# couldn't further from correct. After many hours of experimenting with settings, I finally came up with the correct ones. In fact, I'm in the process of writing an article about it since there is simply no definitive guidance on the web that I've been able to find in the time I've searched.
Your comments are on target...everything on the *Behaviors Tab* needs to be checked (excepts Notes) and the *Delete when* settings must be set to Never. But there are a few other things that must be done, including some changes on Gmail Settings before Mail and Gmail will be perfectly synchronous. I'll post the entire solution on this forum when I finish the graphics.

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