Apple noob ipad2? - many questions, can you help?

hi,  i have many, many questions.  if you could answer at least a couple and let someone else answer others, i would be so grateful!  thank you!
i'd like to get an ipad 2.  i'm very crippled, disabled, and desperately in need of a *good* tablet.  since i am very very poor, it will be nearly impossible for me to do this.  first of all, is there any way for someone like me to obtain a new ipad;  a contest, a charity, anything like that?  i hate to ask, but i'm nearly quadriplegic and will be completely at some point.  i've tried some cheap tablet pcs and they were all horrible and returned.  i cannot afford the $329 for the cheapest ipad 2, so i surely cannot afford one w/ more storage.  i need to know if ipads are equipped w/ removable storage, such as a micro or standard SD card.  are they?  i would have to get the cheapest ipad 2 which i believe has 16gb of storage.  i'd want to be able to store onto an SD (or other) media or i will eventually fill up the space. 
i do see that it has bluetooth.  can i transfer apple files to a pc via bluetooth?  is that possible since my old, old, defunct, barely functional pc is running win7?  any pc i'd transfer to would be MS windows.  i will always save in a windows compatible format.  i just do not know if i can transfer files from apple to pc, as well as if i can transfer via bluetooth from apple to pc?
i'm concerned about having to pay for apps.  i live way below the poverty line and have no friends or family to assist w/ anything - not that i would dare ask!  i'm on my own and this would be a once in a lifetime purchase that would have to last me "forever".  i heard an ipad user say something about the first gen ipad becoming "obsolete" and that you cannot upgrade an ipad;  you have to buy a new one.  is that correct?  if i could get an ipad 2 (i'd *love* the retina display but cannot afford it - so just the standard ipad 2), will it be useless at some point - a few years from now? 
are there many *free* apps?  such as, can i install a Netflix app to watch on the tablet for free?  or listen to a free radio app?  or is there a cost for *every* app?  forgive me, i have limited use of my neck and cannot hold my head up or use my arms much, so this post is all i can do.  i cannot go searching through available apps. 
bc of my physical disabilities, i am desperately in need of something extremely lightweight that will last me a very long time.  in addition to the cost of apps, are there any other operating costs, other than my internet service, for which i need to be aware of before diving into All Things Apple?
if there are any charities or foundations that assist people, disabled or not, in obtaining an ipad 2, please give me link(s) and/or info.  due to my disablities and financial situation, a very good tablet is my only option.  i cannot sit up vertically at all sometimes, or if i can, for only a limited time.  i cannot turn my head to view a monitor.  ergo, i need something that can be used in a very reclined position.  that rules out everything but tablets. 
i *think* that SIRI would be a good way to do things via voice recognition.  i'm not sure of "her" capabilities, however.  is there voice recognition accessibility built into iOS?  i cannot always use my arms, so i need to be able to speak to do communications.  some of my doctors *only* communicate via their secure email service.  they will not accept calls to the nurses at all.  this is a huge problem for someone that cannot look at the screen due to its position, or type the email.  i really need voice recognition so i can communicate!  if it's not built into iOS, is it an app?  what price?
i would also need the smart cover and a keyboard.  i have to have the stand, as i am unable to hold the ipad up - remember that i am in a reclined position at all times.  i would likely put the ipad w/ the cover as a stand on my knees (bent and upward), and then need a keyboard on my abdomen.  are the keyboards wired or wireless?  if wired, how long is the cord?  i would need about 2.5-3' in length to do this. 
i have an HDTV that was a gift (THANKS!).  does the ipad 2 come w/ a standard HDMI or other connection cord to connect directly to the tv?  or does one need to purchase "apple tv" or some other type unit to view and use on the tv screen?  (in which case, a keyboard w/ cord would not work, would a wireless keyboard work about 8-10' away?).
if my old printer works, i will have to connect it to the old pc - running windows.  will i still be able to print w/ airprint, even tho the printer is connected to a windows pc?  very much need ability to print, especially for medical and financial concerns.  do not have wifi printer and cannot afford one.  will it work?
can i use my google account and its settings - will apple sync w/ chrome?
how much is the warranty and for how long may i purchase it for?  I would want the longest one.  i was able to see that it said you can make 2 warranty claims.  is this correct?
can i upgrade iOS?  is there a charge for it, as in windows?  can i use other programs such as photoscape (freeware vr of photoshop) or another browser (such as dolphin)?
does it have GPS?  may i use it at no charge?  i'm homebound, so this is not a big issue, but if i survive the many major surgeries, i *hope* i can get out again! 
i really need some help.  i cannot communicate with people!  i'm new to apple and do not know anything about these things.  please forgive me for the very lengthy post and so many questions.  any and all information would be quite helpful!  please remember that i *cannot* go searching around sites to find this information.  this post alone has taken over 2 days to write. 
thank you again, and i appreciate your time!
tiff TIFFANYDW2 at yahoo dot com

thank you so much IIP   glad to hear someone vouch for a refurb.  youre right, i cannot afford anything apple.  i was hoping to find a foundation that helps disabled ppl that need to communicate.  i really REALLY need to know if there's voice recognition in the iOS, or even a good free app....  idk.  as you said, i looked at refurbs and even the same model as the cheapest new ipad 2 was $400.  :/  only diff i could see *i think* was that it was wifi and cellular - and i only need wifi.  perhaps the reason the refurb was as much as the new w/ only wifi?
prob w/ laptop pc - cannot use arms much, esp to pick up a laptop, and cannot carry one around.  even an ultrabook (which is a trademark) or other light weight is over 3lbs and i cannot do that.  i can barely do 8oz (for a drink).  ergo laptops are out.  ultras / light weights are way too expensive.  they also come w/ friggin win8.  the starting range of those are much higher than the starting range of ipad.
i guess i'll have to look into a samsung galaxy 2 tablet, android, upgradeable, if i cannot find a way to get the ipad.  advantage of tablet pc over apple / ipad is big time w/ warranty.  so that is my 2nd choice, since the price just went down tonite actually at my WM.  (no lectures!  i have to buy there, cannot afford local biz's!)
i'm using a laptop now, old one, borrowed, win xp.  i cannot move it at all.  it's soooo heavy!  i've not weighed it but would not be surprised if over 5lbs.  ergo my posts take forever to write and it's very hard for me as i cannot be in a reclining position to use it.  due to my spinal diseases, it's complicated.  i have to move around at least every 20-30min while awake, or 45-60min while trying to sleep.  not to be confused w/ mobility or ability to hold head upright/ at all, or use of arms.  spinal disease is entire spine now.  just found out that peachy news recently. 
so you see a laptop wont work.  i've spent months and months trying to find a laptop that i *could* use.  not possible. 
pro's of tablet pc:  less than 1/2 the price, and no q's asked, no charge, 2-3 yr drop/spill/anything accident or manufacturing defect.  will get one w/ android, upgradeable.  tons of free apps. 
cons:  much less performance, and nothing near the quality of ipad in any way.  even the cases are not as durable as ipad.  wont get anything w/ windows on it, so have to make sure it's an android.  many android models *do not* have VR (voice recognition) installed.  hard to find *free* *good* VR app.  have to use mSD card.  hard for someone w/ very limited use of arms and would have to mess around w/ that little tiny thing w/ messed up dexterity. 
pro's of ipad:  DURABLE, still unclear how long it'll last as far as upgrading iOS and available apps.  great OS and software/apps.  compatible in many ways w/ pc.  *better* features in all ways than tab pc.
cons:  no idea if disability accessibility w/ VR installed or free app that is *free* and *good*.  price more than 2x as much as decent tablet pc.  warranty is crap.  i cannot afford it and it's only 1 yr and doesnt cover accidents.  have to buy more expensive compatible accessories like case/cover/kb.
either way, i have to find help for purchase of either kind and accessories and prob good VR software/app.  at some point, i will be 100% quadriplegic and unable to communicate - that's an absolutey firm prognosis.  at this time i am 80% incapicated - meaning 80% of a 24hr period i am completely incapcitated.  i wanted to get VR set up on pc, but cannot sit, even in recliner, and look at monitor due to position of body and therefore having to turn head, hold weight of head on neck, and entire spine issues.  so i was going to set it up, as i thought i had no choice (which i wont have likely sooner than expected), and then i got laryngitis and had *no* voice at all for 35 - THIRTY FIVE!! - days!  been ~2+ mo now and it still goes out.  crazy!  advice:  if you lose your voice, SHUT UP or you'll never get it back.  i'm not kidding!
so things arent working out well at all for awhile.  *shrugs*  such is life. 
this reply has taken me many trips (and hours) to the old laptop and i cannot hold my head up or use my arms anymore tonight.  so
KING PENGUIN - i will have to read and reply to you tomorrow (USA).  sorry!
thank you IIP!  tablet pc is back in my options.  that choice was just made a few hours ago when my "servant"  (lol, my bff, he's so sweet!) came by and went shopping for me so i could get some food!  yummy!  there are too many cons to tablet pc, but it appears, at this point, that it's going to be my only choice.
k, my head's falling off!  i tell ppl i have a "dislocated head"  HAHA  and my mom thought i was serious.  :/ 
THANK YOU!!!

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