Apple Remote Desktop vs. FTP vs SFTP vs PC

Complex one this, and its driving me mad - can anyone advise
Background: two small networks in different locations with different ISPs. Both behind routers. All necessary ports opened. The primary objective was to have access between two macs to allow Remote Control and file sharing via FTP or, better still, SFTP (using Transmit). Everything was fine and the Macs could connect to each other everywhich way.
Then I was forced to do a complete reinstall on one of the macs
Current situation: Remote Desktop continues to work fine both ways. The (Intel) Mac with the reinstall will only connect via SFTP (FTP times out). The other Mac will not communicate with the Intel Mac at all with either FTP or SFTP. But the PC alongside it will connect using FTP through the same router
Any clues?

Just had some success establishing the SFTP connections in both directions.
Trying to SFTP into the Intel mac here reported a message:
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): IT IS POSSIBLE THAT SOMEONE IS DOING SOMETHING NASTY!
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): Someone could be eavesdropping on you right now (man-in-the-middle attack)!
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): It is also possible that the RSA host key has just been changed.
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): The fingerprint for the RSA key sent by the remote host is
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): xxxxxx (number deleted)
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): Please contact your system administrator.
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): Add correct host key in /Users/PP/.ssh/known_hosts to get rid of this message.
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): Offending key in /Users/PP/.ssh/known_hosts:1
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): RSA host key for xx.xx.xx.xx has changed and you have requested strict checking.
Aug 13 16:03:08 BigMac Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): Host key verification failed.
I guess the host number changed as a result of the earlier system reinstall
Anyhow, I made hidden files visible using Tinker Tool, found the known_hosts file in the Home/.ssh folder - then deleted its contents on both machines
When I went to log on using SFTP in Fetch, there was a brief "are you sure" king of warning then it connected. This worked in both directions
Still can't get the FTP working in either direction though.
Trying to connect From the Intel to the Mac I get:
Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): Fetch could not get the file list because data connections were blocked by both a firewall at the server and by the Mac OS X firewall. (Ask the server administrator to allow passive mode data connections through their firewall, or turn off the Mac OS X firewall in the Sharing pane of System Preferences.)
From Mac to Intel I get:
Fetch 5.2.1 (5C263): Fetch could not get the file list because the connection was refused. (Contact the server administrator for more information.)
Logs show that a communication is taking place between the computers, but the ipfw.log shows a "12190 Deny TCP" message

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