Apple TV 2 Can See My Library, But Can't Connect for Home Sharing

I'm really at my last rope, so hoping someone will have mercy and be able to help here.
Symptoms:
- Go to my Apple TV 2
- Under the Home Sharing menu, select "Adam Nash's Library"
Result:
- Spinning cursor
- Cannot connect to "Adam Nash's Library".  Please check that your computer is on and on the same network.
Internet access works for all devices, they all can do Netflix and Apple Store.  Only one network in the house.  No firewall activated on the mac.
I have multiple AppleTV units, and this has intermittently affected all of them.  Periodically, I have solved the problem by taking them on / off ethernet.
Things I have tried:
- Restarting iTunes on the computer
- Turning Home Sharing on and off on AppleTV
- Turning Home Sharing on and off on iTunes
- Rebooting the computer
- Resetting the AppleTV units
- Restoring the AppleTV units
- Forcing the AppleTV units to different IP
- Forcing the AppleTV units to Ethernet instead of Airport (by plugging into Airport base stations directly)
- Swapping AppleTV units to different rooms
Nothing works.
One clue.  I have three Airport Extreme base stations in the house, and this problem begain when one of them started misbehaving (would connect, but wouldn't pass through packets.)  It's an Airport Extreme Base Station (Series 1).  The other two are Series 4 & Series 5.  I reset the misbehaving box and reconfigured it, and seems to be working fine from a networking standpoint.  But once that happened, one of the AppleTVs started showing this problem.
Is there some reason that Home Sharing is hyper sensitive to the network in some way?  It *seems* like what's happening is that it's seeing the iTunes Library (which is why it show's the Library name), but when it tries to connect, something is either encrypted differently or permissioned wrong. 
Hoping someone can help me.  Frustration is at 11.

One clue: I have found a reliable way to solve the problem when it happens.
In my network, I have the main Airport Extreme (Gen 1) which is connected to my router, which distributes IP addresses to my internal subnet.  The other two AEs (one Gen 4, one Gen 5) are set to extend the network.
When I get this problem with an AppleTV 2 that can "see" my library, but when I try to open it, it says it couldn't find the library, it seems to have to do with a change in which Airport Extreme it's talking to.
If I restart the main Airport Extreme from the Airport Utility, effectively restarting the entire wireless network, then when the network resumes, every AppleTV 2 is happy again.
Unfortuntely, the problem does seem to recur - but I'm wondering if it's because temporary interference leads an AppleTV 2 to try to connect to a different AE, and somehow that's mucking with the Home Sharing.  Remember, internet access (Trailers, Store, Netflix) have no issues.  Purely Home Sharing.
Adam

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