Apple TV Frustrations -- Help!

I've had this Apple TV for over a year and get so frustrated when I try to sync any new songs or photos. It takes forever then quits before it's done and some of my albums are then gone that were there before! Isn't there an easy way to connect this to my laptop and sync it??
Also, whenever I try to update the software it says "not available" and I'm still using the original software. It will never download it. So how do I get this. I don't understand why this isn't easy to use like my iPod or iPhone -- should be able to connect it to the laptop somehow to update it Any help is deeply appreciated. I LOVE my Mac toys but this one has me ready to scream.

Just patience basically. I have wireless Airport which is not near the AppleTV but I've gotten it to sync a couple of time and everything is there to view which includes about 2,000 photos and 2,000 songs with lots of leftover space. Then when I want to add a few new photos it is so frustrating. It starts to sync and then it takes like 5-10 minutes for each photo and before they all get added it quits and then an entire album is gone. They are still in the library, but the prior album is gone. I also get firewall messages that I can't resolve sometimes. Is there a way to connect the appletv to my laptop to sync it like an iPod faster. Once I connected an ethernet cable to the appletv and my laptop and it work great and zoomed through the sync really fast but I cant' get it to work again?? Getting firewall messages. I have never been able to get an upgraded software to download also -- says not available when I try downloading it on appletv every time over the past year.

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