Are "Back to my MAC" and "Port Forwarding" mutually exclusive?

I have been using APExtreme and Port Forwarding successfully for several weeks now. The PF is to allow access to game players on a PC which acts as a server on the web. All Good.
One more thing, I have a ISP provided wireless modem/router to talk to the cable and the world. It seems to work either bridged or un-bridged.
I have disabled the wireless on the ISP's modem/router. (Actually the ISP's device doesn't hold a candle to the APE.)
Still all good.
So the firewall is on in the APExtreme and none on the modem router, and I have a port defined for my gamers to get access to my server in the APExtreme.
I now want to implement Back to my MAC on my MBP and my other Apple devices. I believe these use iCloud for which I have an account and it seems to be working well with my iPhone.
In Properties, when I select BtmM, iCloud says communications will be slow if I have port forwarding on. Also I will not be able to use the router function in my Modem/router.
I'd really like to have the modem/router firewall up, and do the port forwarding there, but the BtmM will likely not get through.
So what does anyone suggest?
Can I use BtmM and port forwarding without too much degradation?
Please advise.
Thanks
Barry

To best answer your question on whether the two are "mutually exclusive," let take a look at how Back to My Mac (BTMM) basically works.
BTMM - General Requirements
OS X Leopard 10.7.3+
Active iCloud account. Each Mac & the AirPort router, that will be relying on BTMM, needs to be configured with the same account.
A publicly reachable IP address for your router.
A router that supports either NAT-PMP or UPnP. For AirPorts, be sure it is running 7.6.1+ firmware.
BTMM uses TCP port 5354 and UDP ports 4500 & 5353 for communications.
BTMM - Basic Communication Flow
For a computer connected to the Internet via a router, BTMM "asks" the router for its configuration information. For a router, like your AirPort, that uses NAT-PMP, BTMM will ask the router to assign arbitrary public ports. In turn, the router will provide these port assignments (& the router's Public IP address) back to BTMM.
BTMM then sends this information to the iCloud account. In background iCloud updates a special set of DNS entries to be used by BTMM. These entries are then made available to all BTMM clients using your iCloud account. When a computer, with BTMM enabled, uses your iCloud credentials, it automatically retrieves a list of all other computers/routers that are registered with the same account. All these devices should then appear under the SHARED section of the Finder.
When attempting to connect to a remote computer (or router), BTMM creates a secure connection to that remote device using the information from the iCloud account.
Once the connection is established, the devices can then communicate with each other.
So potentially, unless you are using Port Mapping for any of the ports BTMM uses, they should not conflict.

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Are the ports in fact open from the net?
This means at any one of the following sites:
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http://www.dyndns.com/support/tools/openport.html
http://www.whatsmyip.org/ports/
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UDP
IKE NAT Traversal
ipsec-msft
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NOTE TO APPLE:
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Hey guys, so this isn't really a problem, just more of a seeking of answers, since I fixed my own problem. Just looking for some explanations.
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Message was edited by: Johan Henkens

Hi Johan,
Sometimes after changing Memory configurations you need to do a PMU reet, 4 PRAM Restets in a row, or and NVRAM reset -all.
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Every good question has a couple of miles of back story, so here it comes:
I bought a Windows PC recently, and one of the first programs I downloaded was uTorrent. I have an iBook G4 running 10.4.8, but I have no wireless router, so I thought I would use internet sharing to get my new laptop off the ground. Everything connects great, internet sharing is wonderful on the web, but then I use uTorrent and notice that I'm uploading at nearly 3 times the speed I'm downloading, even when I only have 12kb of a file. I then notice the small icon at the bottom of the application that looks like a warning flag that my computer is confused, and I figure out that the problem is my new laptop has no ears, or rather, no listening port through which uTorrent can increase the speed of my DOWNloads. Further searching reveals that the traffic on the appropriate port is not getting through, hence I try to figure out how to manipulate internet sharing into forwarding the appropriate port range. I found Brickhouse, or as it is now known, Flying Buttress, but the program is remarkably confusing (to be perfectly honest, I'm not that bright). I cannot get FB to forward the port, no matter how hard I tried (every time I clicked Start IP Sharing, the it wouldn't work). So I can't use FB. I thought I would be clever and create a network on my Windows PC and share it with my iBook, but apparently my iBook refuses to share the Windows internet.
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So, long story short, I need help forwarding ports through internet sharing. If you can help me use FB, that's great, but to be honest, I would like a cleaner solution if possible. So my question is: How do I get my Mac to share port traffic with Windows if it is running internet sharing?
iBook G4 Mac OS X (10.4.8) Other Computer: Windows XP, other specs available on request

I was hoping more for a permanent solution that doesn't cost $100. Did I mention I'm in China? That program seems great and all, but I have the same technical difficulties I've had with FB. I can get the thing running and still have an internet connection on my machine, however, the port mapping or port forwarding or whatever you wish to call it doesn't actually work. These programs make it very difficult to understand what's going on; I checked the IP Address on my windows machine and used it as the actual address for the port I wanted to forward, I applied the settings and absolutely nothing changed on the windows machine. I went to portforward.com to check if the port was forwarded properly and still no response. This will sound stupid, but when I hook up the windows machine to the router through ethernet, it works perfectly, no forwarding required, so it is essentially my mac that is blocking or absorbing the intended traffic, but if I hook up the windows machine to the router, I have no internet for my Mac (I'm not sure if that's a problem with my Mac or with ICS). Can you explain to me how to use this program to forward ONE port, and ONLY forward one port (or a range of ports would be even better) without all of its inane firewalling that blocks all the internet traffic? Or am I just hopeless on this issue?

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More info:
Both TCs are running the latest firmware (7.6.1)
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Are "Back to my MAC" and "Port Forwarding" mutually exclusive?

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