ATV2 can't see iTunes shared library

I have spent hours reading forums and trying many different settings and am about to return my AppleTV.  I have tons of movies converted for viewing on the AppleTV but I feel I have wasted to many hours of my life and am about to give up.
Here is my setup:
Dell XPS Desktop connected to router by ethernet, Dell Inspiron 1525 laptop connected via WAN - both running latest version of iTunes (10.2.1) Both running Windows 7 Professional (32 bit)
AppleTV2 (connected wireless - current firmware)
iPod Touch (3rd generation - current iOS)
Home Sharing enabled on all devices with the same user/password
D-Link DIR-655 router
McAfee Security-as-a-Service Firewall/Anti-Virus
Right now, I have been only working on my desktop PC - I figure if I get that going, I can do the same to my laptop to get it going as well...
I have opened up the recommened ports on my software firewall.
I've briefly opened the ports on my router.  (closed them again as I don't want those ports open to the 'world')
I've checked that iTunes is allowed to access internet through firewall
I completely uninstalled McAfee and tried with windows firewall turned off.
I have reset my router to factory conditions with minimal user settings
I have reinstalled iTunes
I have reinstalled Bonjour service...
Can't think of anything else to try
My iPod is able to communicate with the ATV2.  I can 'stream' from iPod to ATV2 no problem.  However, I keep the movies on my desktop and want that to be the main media source.  Also - on the 2 PC's, I haven't ever seen the other's Shared Library in iTunes.  If I turn off iTunes and reload, I can briefly see my library on the ATV2 and iPod... but only for a minute or 2 and then it disappears.  Does anybody see any glaring thing I have forgotten?  I'm at my wit's end... please help!!!

I too have not been getting any sleep because of this. The main reason why I bought ATV2 is because everyone told me it's plug and play, always works. That is bull !!! I hope you can help me out, and that I can get some decent sleep for once, long hours troubleshooting this !!!
Turned Home Sharing On and Off many times on both ends
Hardwired both HTPC (running iTunes) & ATV2 to my router
Router is a DLINK DIR-615
Added IP for ATV2 to DMZ in router for unresticted access
Tried Home Sharing with and without DONE button pressed
Have latest iTunes 10.x
Tried enabling/disabling "Share Library on Network" under Preferences
Only 2 things left to try:
Open the recommended ports 3689 (TCP) & 5353 (UDP) in XP on my HTPC (running iTunes)
Replace my D-Lilnk router with another model
I really hope someone out there can help me out. I was hoping this would be plug&play easy
Thanks so much for your time !!!
Neil

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