Backing up or Syncing iPhone question

I can't re-write all I've written..... but, I don't understand why you have back up and sync, what is the difference between syncing and backing up in iTunes, and should I have backed up before I synced...? Hence all the games are not saved where you left off last time you played them, and does back up save texts, contacts, photos, etc. Or do you have to 'sync' in Itunes. I synced because that's basically what it told me to do when I plugged in the phone, shouldn't it say back-up? Or is it one and the same, and if it does back up, where is it located on the Mac out of interest?
The new software update, 4.3, should it really take 3 hours? That's what it's telling me

Thank you for your replies,  If back up backs all that you say in '1', why would I need to tick all the contacts, etc in Sync.
When I synced Apps, it showed syncing, then deleted all of them, when I put them back on the phone, the games I'd got to say level 80+ in, when I put back on phone they were as if I'd just downloaded it for the first time and lost all the levels I'd got to. Basically, you have to start from scratch again...
If the iTunes has no old back ups or syncs, is that why it backed up the sync Apps from new
Re '7', it does show owners iPhone but how do I know it has any data in it, can you view exactly what it has backed up?
And will the new software update 4.3 delete everything on my phone?
After my experience of this synching iTunes I'd rather not do it, if it's going to delete everything it didn't when I synced this the first time?
How do I know it's kept, texts, contacts, apps in game play where left off etc, if I ever have to restore, how can you check, You hear so many people restoring and it wipes their phone clean
Thanks again

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