Boot camp Windows 8.1 new rMBP / Mavericks

So, my shiny new 13" retina MBP (first Mac product) arrived Thursday and I decided yesterday would be the day I'd Bootcamp Windows 8.1.
I had a plethora of issues, some of which I got through by mining the interweb for info, but one stumped me altogether. I thought I'd share the experience/story to a) hopefully help out other users and b) see if anyone can help me complete the process (What follows is something of an unsuccinct summary of 3 hours of my life. Should you be busy or have anything else to do, feel free not to get bored reading it and then lambast me in the comments for wasting so much of your time):
Ingredients:
1off 13" retina MBP running OSX 10.9, which I've affectionately named "Tom" (Maverick -> Top Gun -> Tom Cruise) ... anyway
1off MSDN 64bit Windows 8.1 Enterprise Edition .iso
1off 8gb USB stick
Method:
- Loaded Boot Camp Assistant in Utilities
- Tried tried to load my .iso unto the memory stick
1st issue encountered:
     - Error: "Boot Camp only supports 64-bit Windows installation on this platform. Please use a ISO file for 64-bit Windows installation"
1st issue resolution:    
     - Frustrated but undettered I repeatedly re-tried and even re-downlaoded the 64-bit .iso from MSDN. No joy. Some research on the net revealed that for Boot      Camp 5, native to Mavericks, will not support x32-bit Windows installs. For whatever reason, Bootcamp thinks my iso is 32-bit. Why? Christ knows. Solution?      Amend the info.plist file within Boot Camp Assistant as advised here. Now this spawned a      fang-toothed mini-issue of its own, as on changing the      info.plist file exactly as instructed, Boot Camp Assistant would now no longer work. Rather, it would tell me it has crashed and sent an error message back to      Apple ... grass.
     More research and a new solution: Get an older version of Boot Camp Assistant. 
Tip - There is a difference between Bootcamp Support Software (Windows drivers etc) and a Boot Camp Assistant version. It took a couple of support software downloads before I discovered this.
     - Got hold of a version of Boot Camp 4, which seemed less princessy about whether my Windows iso seemed to be 32 or 64-bit, and started creating the      install on my USB stick.
2nd issue encountered:
     - Error: "Windows Support Software Not Available for Download"
2nd issue resolution:
     - Frustrated but undettered I tried a couple more times thinking perhaps the Apple server from which I was trying to download support software was having      some issues. Some more research revealed you can download the Support Software Packages yourself. At this point a penny dropped somewhere behind      my eyes. In my downloads folder was a Bootcamp 5.0.5 software package I'd previously downloaded mistakenly thinking it was a different version of Boot      Camp Assistant. Copied it onto a separate USB stick (having torn the house apart to find one). Deselected the middle option in Bootcamp 4 to download the      Support Software (drivers) and continued about my business.
- My new, amenable, version of BootCamp Assistant guided me through the setup process (partitioning the disc etc.) and after a reboot I eventually found myself looking at a Windows 8.1 setup screen. Success!! No... not yet...
- With Windows 8.1 installed I copied the Bootcamp 5 support folder (drivers) onto my Windows desktop and double-clicked the install.exe with a confidence that turned out to be entirely unwarranted as it provoked the following error...
3rd issue encountered:
     - Error: "Boot Camp x64 is unsupported on this computer model"
3rd issue resolution:
     - Frustrated, I gently put my new Macbook down and went to get a whiskey (note: this is not advised). Having calmed my nerves I did some more research. I      tried Troubleshoot Compatibility and running as Admin solutions to no avail.
Tip - Transversing a Windows OS with no Mac keyboard/touchpad drivers is a challenge in itself. Shift F10 also functions as right-click, alternatively, have a USB mouse on hand.
     What did work, was navigating via a Command Prompt to the Bootcamp folder I'd copied to the desktop (various youtube videos exist on how to move around      folders in cmd if you don't know how) C:\...\BootCamp\Drivers\Apple\BootCamp.msi
     My drivers started installing. Success?!?! ...nearly
4th issue encountered:
     No wireless adapter detected
4th issue resolution:
     - Frustrated and now dehydrated, thanks to a Scottish single malt, I did some more internet mining and discovered this also was not a unique problem. I      managed to obtain a Windows 7 Broadcom driver for a different Mac network adapter (I couldn't at this point identify what type of network adapter was living      in unused hibernation under my keyboard somewhere, but for some reason the driver within the Bootcamp Support Software wasn't working). But sadly this      didn't work.
At this point I'd lost most of my evening and half of Strictly Come Dancing, and so decided to knock it on the head.
I hope that some of the above may prove useful for people struggling with one or two of the same problems; at the very least it's encouraging to know you're not the only one.
Regarding my situation, if there's a root cause to my problems (likely circulating around my own naivety or stupidity) I'd be very grateful for any help in identifying it, but please be patient; I'm not a tech guru, I'm literally just a guy with a new macbook and little computing experience.
Specifically I'd love some feedback or assistance as to how I might enable the Network Adapter in Windows - perhaps where I might find the driver specific to my machine?
In all, considering how many posts and articles there are from people struggling with Boot Camp, it doesn't seem like it fits the user friendly experience Apple markets itself on.
Thanks in advance.

In Thehatters defence, this was initially posted in the MacbookPro forum and then moved to Boot Camp,
If you have any joy solving your trackpad device driver issue, feel free to post here (there might be a similar fix for my  wireless adapter device)
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