Can 2 Macs on different DSL providers share files?

How can I connect to my Mother's computer across town on a different DSL provider and backup her Hard Drive to my external drive and do maintenance?
Thanks in advance.
I've tried through ftp server but got an error message.

Thank you for the links. The tunnel sounds a bit out of my experience and I have played with Chicken of the VNC but it didn't work out so well.
The big question is even if I could network to her computer it would probably take for ever to back up her whole hard drive to my computer, no?
My attempts at file sharing over the internet as shown in "The Missing Manual" and also trying to make her computer an ftp site where I type in her address all failed an I am at a loss to understand why. Besides checking the preferences for File Sharing and FTP Access where there other settings I missed? FTP wouldn't allow me access after typing in her Computer's name and password. I then tried her Hard Drive's name - still no access.
Is my only option to use VNC to control her Mac to launch a B/U program like Retrospect to Back up to her External Hard Drive?
Thanks.

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