Can i delete my account from someone else's computer

I'm divorcing and not at all tech savvy. My soon-to-be-ex (STBE) is very tech savvy and is also quite adept at all things Apple/Mac.
I believe that my phone backs up to her Mac computer anytime it's plugged in and connected to wifi (multiple times per day, maybe?).
There are photos and emails and Notes that I do not want to been seen currently or accessed in the future by STBE.
I think the only way to access my data is via my apple ID but I'm not positive. I want to know if there is a need for me to delete things from the computer to remove them forever (especially given that the computer isn't mine). I would assume that past backups have already stored versions of data I want kept private.
Also, if I have data (music, photos, etc) from my iPhone stored on the cloud, does that mean I can access it from a different computer when I leave?
Some of my data is not on currently on this iPhone but are on the cloud and I'd like to keep them. Is that possible?
Lastly (I'm sorry for all the questions!!) since we share a cell phone plan and I have to give my current iPhone back for some reason, will I still be able to keep all the data to put on a new phone and/or access via cloud?

You might want to delete any backups of your phone from the shared computer and start backing up to iCloud instead (assuming you have a separate iCloud account). To start backing up to iCloud, go to Settings>iCloud>Backup and turn on iCloud Backup. To delete backups from the Mac, open iTunes on it, then go to iTunes>Preferences>Devices, then select any backups on your phone listed on the Backups list and click Delete Backup. (If you're having trouble identifying which backup belongs to your phone, hover your mouse over the backup and a pop-up will open showing the phone number of the device the backup belongs to.)
If you have to start syncing to a new computer, you will want to back up the entire iTunes folder on the Mac to an external drive, then copy that to your new Mac. You can do this as discussed under "External Drive" here: iTunes: How to move your music to a new computer. Once on your new computer, you will be able to sync with the new computer without any problems.
If you need to give your phone back, be sure to back it up first, then completely erase it as discussed under "If you still have your iOS device" here: What to do before selling or giving away your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch. If you get a replacement iPhone, you can then restore this backup to the new phone to recover your data, settings and purchased media.

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Can i delete my account from someone else's computer

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