Can people just spy on us? How to find security settings?

I do not know how to use iChat....and accidentally hit it on as I tried to hit Safari instead...(iMac)...I left it on as I have no buddies yet...this came pre-programmed onto my iMac.
I then heard a few coughs and door slams here and there as if from a spy microphone (sort of sound! lol) and finally thought "Hey! I wonder if iChat is on?" and it was...I made it "big" and I saw I had one buddy on (I never approved anyone...I just had this list which must have came from my gmail account??). I didn't approve to view or hear anything....was it him I heard??? If so, can he just turn it on and spy on me when he wants?? I don't get that. I would think I'd have to approve "sound" to have heard him.
So, I went to apple.com's iChat video (intro) and it said to go to "preferences" then "accounts" then "security" and set security there...BUT...I go there and I don't have security. I just have my accounts (gmail and jabber shown) and NO place anywhere to set any security standards.
How can I set security standards? (IE: so I'm not just anyone's buddy who can find me?)
Also--let me know if people can just hear you or see you if you turn on iChat accidently but don't approve any texting, video, sound. I also don't just want to hear others w/o their approval. Thanks.
Newbie.

Hi,
To set up iChat you need to specifically enter in a Screen Name (or two or more).
These can be AIM based (AIM ones themselves or Apple IDs will login to the AIM servers) or Jabber Based (Any Jabber Server ID or Googletalk ID) which will login to the relevant Jabber Server.
If you have a Google Mail ID you may already be using that Web page to Chat with GoogleMail Buddies.
If in addition to this you Enable Talk on your Google Account you can use the Screen Name in iChat and in the Web Browser Plug-in for Macs (intels).
So to get your Google Buddies that you may already in to iChat you have to do two things.
1) Start up iChat and Add your Google Mail ID
2) Have enabled TALK at Google for 1) to be able to Login.
If your Address Card (The MY Card = Head and Shoulders Icon) in the Address Book has the Google Mail ID in already it may be Pre-filled when you run the iChat Start Up Screens (See top right-ish of this page)
It is almost impossible to accidentally start up iChat so that you have a working Buddy List straight away (unless you have used an Screen Name somewhere else before).
As has already been said I would check the iChat Menu > Preferences > Alerts and find out what sounds have been set.
I may receive some form of compensation, financial or otherwise, from my recommendation or link.
9:37 PM Sunday; March 7, 2010
Please, if posting Logs, do not post any Log info after the line "Binary Images for iChat"

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