Can't chat with friends who use AIM unless .mac friends host group chat

For some reason, I can only text chat with my friends who use iChat with AIM accounts. When my friends with .mac accounts are on iChat, we can use video conference and send pictures via text easily.
The only way I can video conference with my AIM friends (and send pictures) is if the .mac friends host the chat. We've all made sure we're using the upgraded softwares, and we're all using iChat AV 3.1.8... We all have the correct preferences according to iChat help, as well as meet all requirements listed on the Apple site.
I have found no record of anyone else having this problem, nor can I find anything that remotely relates to anything similar.
What are we doing wrong??? Has anyone else experienced this?

Ok,
Can you tell me everyone's Upload and download speeds please ?
http://www.ralphjohnsuk.dsl.pipex.com/page5.html#_speedtests
Also how is each person connected to the Internet ?
Modem > computer Or
Modem > router > computer ?
Can you list how the ports are opened or allowed in each device ?
If I understand you correctly can you add the other screen name to the other computer's iChat and see if it is computer related.
If you have done Port Forwarding then it is most likely this is to one computer. This would only allow one computer at your end to Video chat. (adding the other screen nmae should give you Video on both screen names). As you have changed the Login port to 443 for everyone you will be able to Text chat as this is below port 1024 which is where the ports need to opened if above this number.
As File sharing (sending Pics is on Port 5190 and UDP protocol this has not been moved and would explain why it can not be done.
8:14 PM Tuesday; July 10, 2007

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