Can't connect using screen sharing app

This has been an ongoing issue for a long time. Some days I can connect from my macbook pro to mac pro, both running mountain lion using the screen sharing app - some days I can't, Rebooting doesn't seem to help. I can always connect by opening finder, selecting the machine and clicking share screen.
EVERYTHING is configured properly - which is why it works some times. I've had similar problems between other combinations of mac mini, imac as well. The error I get is:
"Please make sure that Screen Sharing (in the Sharing section of System Preferences) is enabled on the computer to which you are attempting to connect. Also make sure your network connection is working properly."
Is this so hard?
me

Using screen sharing at transcontinental distances is commonplace; there's no "other networks" setting here.
There's the IP network and firewall and ISP network configuration, and whether that (in aggregate) allows connections from elsewhere can connect to reach port 5900 (TCP) or whatever you're using.
And whether screen sharing is enabled on-LAN; via System Preferences on Client or via Server Admin on Mac OS X Server and punched through the applicable host-local and upstream firewalls, of course.
As for what IPsecuritas might be blocking or might be routing, you need ensure that passes port 5900 (TCP).

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I tried everythink, but same as before!
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- loosing Home Share
now even on iPads !
Frustrating!
I'm now more than convinced that this is caused by the latest iTunes version.
As some others stated in other threads .... it seems that Apple doesn't really take care of this problem. So what if, if we could make them feeling the same pain as we do. ... Just by dropping them a mail as soon as we have the problem again. Not more often, we don't want to be unfair, but everytime it happens.
I found this feedback site http://www.apple.com/feedback/itunesapp.html
I will start now with this.... maybe this will help to rise a little bit of attention
Tweety
This is the mailbody I always use
Hello all,
Since the last update to iTunes Version 10.6.1 (7) streaming content (Movies and TV shows) to Apple TVs and iPads has two major problems:
- Home Sharing is lost during streaming (streaming stops even if a large portion of the content is already preloaded)
- streaming stops and the main screen pops up (Home Sharing still available)
This happens sometime after some minutes, sometimes after several hours, but it surely happens.
I followed every advice I could found on this support website. There are now a lot of threads following this issue.
Sometimes it seems getting better, but hours later the same isues occured again. Watching content on this enviroment is a real pain and very frustrating.
As many others I'm now convinced that the latest update of iTunes caused this problem.
Our family enviroment contains the following Apple products:
- iTunes on a Win7 32 bit Noname PC (all content)
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all firmware or software are on latest available patchlevel.
At this moment, I can not recomend to others to buy this products.
I will drop this feedback everytime my famiily and I facing this problem... just to help you to get a better feeling of the urgency of this issue.
Thanks for every effort in advanced.

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