Can't download ANYTHING without answering security questions that I can't reset. HELP!

I am TRYING to download apps but these LOVEEELLYYY little security questions ask me "What was your first job?" and "What was your least favorite job?". I don't know. I forgot ever doing this and best part is...wait for it...there's no possible way to reset this questions! OH! Yay. Thanks Apple, i'm actually so frustrated at this point and I need help. Now.

Alternatives for Help Resetting Security Questions and Rescue Mail
     1. Apple ID- All about Apple ID security questions.
     2. Rescue email address and how to reset Apple ID security questions
     3. Apple ID- Contacting Apple for help with Apple ID account security.
     4. Fill out and submit this form. Select the topic, Account Security.
     5.  Call Apple Customer Service: Contacting Apple for support in your
          country and ask to speak to Account Security.
Note: If you have already forgotten your security questions, then you cannot
         set up a rescue email address in order to reset them. You must set up
         the rescue email address beforehand.
How to Manage your Apple ID: Manage My Apple ID

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