Can't find "Look for shared libraries" in the Sharing pane of iTunes preferences. How can I find it?

I am trying to set up Home Sharing between my computer and my wife's. Sharing keeps disappearing from the side bar although Home Sharing is turned on for both computers. Using the Help tab it says to check the "Look for shared libraries" in the preferences/shared box. The problem is that "Look for shared libraries is not there to select. Any ideas how I can sort this out?

I'm having a similar issue even after the "Shared Libraries" box is checked in General preferences on iTunes...
On early verisons of iTunes i had no problem with sharing or remote access via iPad.  I really need to figure out how to get this working.

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