Can't get a bulge to bulge how I need it :(

Trying to create a `bulge` effect as seen in the sample image below. (If you can call it a bulge). Text needs to be editable to update it with lots of variants.
Have tried the various warps and bulges etc. - but I can't get anything to look like this
The example was made in MS publisher - create some text, add the relevant bulge effect and then rotate it.
Im sure illustrator (im using CS6) can do this in it's sleep - I just can't get it like this!
Note that the single style of bulge covers all my lines of text plus the black bar behind the middle bit of text.
Can anyone help?
Many thanks
Martin

I would go with using Envelope Distorts as suggested, but just for fun…
Another approach (more destructive, non editable text way):
- Make a copy of your art to be used
- Create Outlines for the text
- Group Everything
- Make an Art Brush out of the group (use scale proportionately)
- Apply the art brush to a straight horizontal line
- Use the "Width Tool" to give bulge / envelope look, from the middle
- Rotate as desired
See Result below.

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Can't get a bulge to bulge how I need it :(

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