Can't Get Contacts Off Phone

I synced my iPhone for the first time after updating to 3.0 and it asked me whether I wanted to delete 100 or so of my contacts. I went ahead and did it thinking there was some sort of duplicates problem, but it deleted them off my computer and left them on my phone.
I don't know why!
Now whenever I sync, the phone contacts won't merge back into the computer contacts. I tried the FAQ page's instructions, but the address book files weren't in my Library folder where it said they would be. Nothing seems to be helping. I am losing my mind here!

If deleted from your old phone, and you were syncing contacts with iCloud, this would also delete them from iCloud. Unless you have a backup, that contains your contacts, to restore from, they are gone.

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