Can't remove iPhone from My Apple ID because it doesn't appear in Find My iPhone

I gave away my iPhone 5.  It is now associated with someone else's Apple ID.  It does not appear in Find My iPhone, but it DOES show up in My Apple ID.  And so Apple wants to send verification codes to it.
I confirmed with the current owner that it is backed up and Find My iPhone is enabled.  (But I'm sure it's associated with her Apple ID.)
The support documents suggest that the only way to remove it is from Find My iPhone.  Is it now impossible to ever remove it from my Apple ID, since it doesn't appear there?  Or is there some secret way to accomplish this?

IS your iMessage turned on, does it say activated, are you signed into it?
Settings > Messages > Make sure iMessage is turned on and DOES NOT SAY "waiting for activation"
Settings > Messages > Send/Recieve at > Make sure you're signed in and it shows your phone number checked
Tell me the results of this

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