Can't restore my backup after loading update !!!!

I backed up my phone yesterday before loading the update.  After loading the update, I got an error saying I couldn't restore my phone since I didn't have enough storage.  After THREE hours with Apple Care and 5 RESTORES, they still couldn't get my backup restored.....so I have lost over 1,000 photos not to mention everything else I've got on my phone for the last two years.   Apple tells me that since the update was larger than the previous update,  it took up too much room, and since I was close to capacity on the phone, my backup is TOO large......after THREE hours, they pretty much insinuated it was MY FAULT for having my phone at capacity.......there is no warning anywhere about the update taking up too much space and to NOT do the update if your phone was almost full.  Does anyone have ANY suggestions how to be able to get my backup smaller so I can get it back on my phone???  Apple Care said it isn't possible and I can bo buy a phone with more storage....to the tune of $800.00. 

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=iPhone+error+code+21

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