Can't send mail after upgrade - mysterius backslash in domain

Using Exchange SMTP over port 587 and none of fixes in this forum do not work.
I had a look with Connection Doctor and in this log entry I noticed something interesting:
WROTE Sep 21 21:33:00.133 kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNone -- host:mail.myhost.ee -- port:587 -- socket:0x11867c970 -- thread:0x11b9a4ea0
EHLO hullumac.elion\.ee
A BACKSLASH "\" in address "hullumac.elion\.ee" ??? ...and Mail gets answer:
READ Sep 21 21:33:05.323 kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNone -- host:mail.myhost.ee -- port:587 -- socket:0x11867c970 -- thread:0x11b9a4ea0
501 5.5.4 Invalid Address
Seems to me that this "\" is problem, but from where it comes???

Before I finally got it working (and I'm not even sure how), I tried PostBox and Airmail and had the exact same outgoing mail problem.  So it appears that there is something more fundamental in the OS happening.  From a couple of these other threads (and I read them all out of desperation...) it sounds like there's some funky sync thing that has to happen with certain host email configs, and Mavericks doesn't do it perfectly at first.  Somehow (yes I'm showing my tech ignorance) some configs require a login to IMAP/POP3 immediately before allowing access to the SMTP to send, presumably in another attempt to block sending spam by third parties.  The timing of the dual login has to be tighter in Mavericks?  But this aligns with my experience in that an account (I had three that had problems) would receive an email and them boom the SMTP would work.  So I tried sending an email from my phone to be received on the problem account and tried to send from that account right at the same time, and somehow it worked.  Once it worked, it stayed working.  However I still cannot get SSL (port 465) to work - I had to change everything to non-SSL on port 25 or 26.  Even though my iPhone and iPad will work...

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