Can't share music libraries

I've updated both my computers w/latest iTunes version and selected the "share library" option on both networked computers----the desktop shows and accesses correctly the laptop's library----on the laptop it shows up, but when clicked says "The shared music library is not compatible with this version of iTunes." Help!

The instabilities I have found have been two types:
1. That was about 1.5 years ago with an older version of mail. I have lost tons of emails at that time and then decided to switch to different user accounts.
2. Often email are not displayed anymore with the comment "...could not be downloaded from the server". This happens with both IMAP and POP account. I then force quit mail and than it comes back with this email downloaded.
The other reason for having different mail instances is that it is easier to backup data belonging to different mail accounts. (So I think). May be that with going to the mail folder in my library I can select different accounts? (I don't know).
Thanks for your advice

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