Can't validate an Apple ID I didn't even know we had.  Help!

Hi guys.  I'm hoping someone can help with this really strange issue:
My wife has an AppleID which is her me.com address.  This works fine, but we are trying to add her work email address to her account for iMessage, Facetime etc.  We tried adding her address but never received the validation email.  I've been trying to do this one and off for a long time (years) now and it has never worked.
Today I started thinking about it and realized that it's entirely possible that she created an Apple ID using that address at some point in the past.  This would explain her not receiving the validation emails.  So I tried to login to an AppleID using that address.  I tried a few standard passwords with no luck so I started to go through the "I forgot my password" process thinking this would be easy considering that we have access to the email in question and obviously know the answers to any security questions we might be asked.
NO LUCK!  When trying email validation we still don't get the email.  And when asked to provide answers to other information the system says those answers are incorrect.
Yes, I've checked junk folders and all that jazz.  In fact I've even checked the email logs in our server (internal) to see if it has bounced the message or rejected it for any reason.  No message is being sent and if it is, it's not making it to our mail server.
It's also not an issue with whitelisting Apple or anything.  I have successfully validated my corporate email address (on the same server) without any problems at all.
Maybe never did try to setup an Apple ID using her corporate address and this isn't the problem causing validation issues when trying to add her address.  There's just no way to tell.  But when I call Apple there is pretty much nothing that can be done because there is no phone support.
Any ideas on the best way to resolve all this?
Just wanna get it working.  :-)

This has nothing to do with the iPhone.
Set up the Apple ID and get that working, then simply sign in on the device.
https://appleid.apple.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/MyAppleId.woa/

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