Can text but can't do AV; am providing as much details as I can

I know many have problems and the problems seem to be setup-specific so I am providing details to improve the odds of a specific fix.
I am having the "user did not respond" problem when trying to videochat with my spouse.
One party is using 2G G5 iMac running OS 10.4.3 running iChat 3.1 (v417). It is connected to an Airport Extreme base station that is connected to a Broadxent BritePort ADSL modem at 512Mbps. Firewall is off and so have consciously set up specific ports on router nor modem. Using iSight camera. Only other Firewire device is an external HDD. AEBS is configured to use DHCP.
The other party is using a Powerbook G4 running Panther and iChat. It is connected to the Internet via a paid broadband service provided by a hotel. It is also using an iSight. As I am typing this, I am wondering if Firewall is on in the Powerbook and could that be one source of this problem?
Anyway, we will continue to invest time to go through the many posts here and see if we overcome our problem.
If someone had this specific scenario before and solved the problem, I would be grateful to hear the fix so we can videochat successfully.
Thank you.

Sorry, I meant 512 Kbps not 512 Mbps. Also, Skype works and we can have audio chat using Skype but we wanted to do video chat.

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