Cannot connect to iTunes for first time. Help?

I'm an original iPhone user. I bought a 3G for my girlfriend and tried to hook it up to iTunes for the first time on her HP Pavilion dv2000 laptop (Windows Vista Home Premium, Service Pack 1). When I connect the phone, it says "This iPhone cannot be used because the required software is not installed." Then it asks me to uninstall and reinstall iTunes. Fine, no problem. I've done it a million times, I've uninstalled Quicktime, I've tried so many things. I've Googled for hours and have seen similar problems. The only difference between her problem and the rest is that the Apple Mobile Device does not show up in the task manager and does not seem to be installed. Every solution I've come across says to restart the AMD, or to uninstall the AMD (along with iTunes) and reinstall it. However, it doesn't even exist on her computer at all. For some reason, it won't install when I install iTunes. I'm exhausted from looking for an answer. Can anyone help? Thank you mucho!

Try task manager, Services tab (may need admin account to do this).
Scan down the list looking for Apple Mobile Device driver. See if it is there, and disabled, or set to start manually, and if so Right click it and select Start the service.
If its not in the list, then go to Control panel, Programs and see if it is in that list. If so un-install it (as well as bonjour, Mobile Me, iTunes) and reboot. <--dont forget.
Then do a FRESH download of iTunes to make sure you have the proper version. (64bit vs 32bit - your processor is 64bit, but that doesn't mean that your vista is. Download the one that matches your Vista platform).
Shut down your virus scanner.
Then install itunes again.
Then go back to Task manager, and see if Apple Mobile Device driver is installed and set to start automatically. Unless you have other devices in the house shut down bonjour (it serves no real purpose other than opening useless ports on your machine), (just right click bonjour an set to start manually or disable it).
Then make sure you are plugged directly into a usb port, not a hub.

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