Cannot connect to Skype no matter what I do.

Everything is up to date, and I have tried both the modern Windows version and the Skype for desktop version. I have tried logging in with my Microsoft Account, with Facebook, and with my Skype account. None of them work. And when I try to check for updates, it says "can't check for updates." (Note: I know I have the latest version, so I shouldn't need updates... but I'm just wondering if this is somehow related.) 
Meanwhile, I can sign in on Skype on my Mac just fine, and my credentials and password are fine on the website as well.
What is going on?
I'm using a Lenovo laptop, 64-bit with Windows 8.1.
Oh, and I also checked the Firewall and made sure that Skype was allowed access on public and private networks.

Please,  run the DirectX diagnostics tool.
Go to Windows Start and in the Run box type dxdiag.exe and press the OK button. This will start the DirectX diagnostics program. Run this diagnostics and save the results to a file. Please, attach this file to your post.
Be aware that you will have to zip this file before attaching it here.

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