Cannot control/observe but can send commands and update apps

I've researched the discussions here and basically came up with several ways of fixing the problem. Also I see I am not the only one with this particular problem.
Ok with that said, here are the details.
I am running a G5 behind a linksys wireless router (g5 is hard wired to the ethernet port of the router), my router is set up to open ports 5900 and 3283 just for ARD 2.0. The ports are pointing to my mac's IP address given by the router. I currently use optimum online for my internet usage, so basically I have a static IP address. From work I can access my G5, control/observe, update, etc...
I also have set up ARD on my mothers imac, she sits behind a verizon dsl modem, and an old netgear router I used at one point. I have the router set up the same way, ports 5900 and 3283 are opened up for tcp and udp. From her machine I can actually connect to my G5 at home and control/observe, etc..
My main problem is when I am on the G5 and try to connect to her machine, I can only send messages, update software but cannot visually observe or control her mac. I've gone and had her change the tcp port to 10000 and no luck with control or observe. I then had her delete ARD with an application I found over the net (appdelete). I had her install ARD client and set it up from scratch again. Nothing... I have spoken with verizon IT and they aren't blocking any ports. I am at my wits end, can't figure this one out. OH, I also tried disconnecting the router and had my mother connect the dsl modem straight to the imac and still cannot control or observe. Within ARD It tells me what program she is running, etc... because of port 3283 but that's about it. I know everyone here has given alot of information. But is there something I am missing?
Could it be a hardware issue (mac or router)? or software?

I've tested timbuktu pro 8.6 and I can access my G5 at home the same way as ARD, I just had to open up the port 5901 and set up the user prefs. My only issue is going to be setting up my mothers imac with timbuktu. crossing my fingers to see if it works tonight. If there are any other thoughts out there please feel free to tell me.

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