Cannot get Music or Video onto iPhone 5

Hi
I have a new Iphone 5 - 16gb, 
I cannot download any of my purchased music or new purchase from the store - it runs through the download, gets to processing then fails with a "item cannot be downloaded at this time - Done or Retry"
I cannot sync any music from my PC (Sony Vaio).  It appears to run through the process, but nothing transfers - under music on the iPhone the selection appears greyed out in iTunes, but cannot be seen from the device.
Match is not enabled.  Auto Update is not enabled
It does actually sync photos.
My iPod Classic and Ipad (new one with lightening) work abosulutly fine.
So far I have:
Re-installed iTunes
Reset and restored iPhone
Changed from Manual to Automatic Sync
Changed endless spurous settings that have been suggested on various forums
After 5 hours of trying I am on the verge of giving up and returning to Android as the iPhone isn't fit for purpose.
If anyone has any ideas that will help I would be incredibly grateful as I really don't want to revert to my old phone.
Thanks

Update
I reset the iPhone and set it up as a new phone (not using a previous backup).  This seems to have fixed the problem with downloading purchases.  I tried this with a purchase from yesterday and will try a couple of others.
I will try it with iTunes shortly and see if this has fixed this problem as well.
I am wondering if the problem stems from using a backup file originally created on my iPad to initially set up the phone. 

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