Cannot sync iphone 3gs with itunes 10.3

Iphone will not sync with itunes because itunes freezes everytime the phone is plugged into computer. I have windows 7 32 bit machine. I have also tried on macbook pro 10.3 itunes and it crashes as well. I cannot restore my phone because itunes freezes. It deleted all my music from my phone, however it still lists that the music is still on the phone. I have a iphone 3gs 4.3.2, cannot download and install 4.3.3 due to itunes freezing.

I can't sync with iTunes too. My 3GS was updated to 4.3.3 (8J2) by the local Mac store yesterday after a failed attempt to update from 4.1 using iTunes version 10.3.1. All apps, photos, contacts, etc was wiped.
Because I can't see my iPhone in iTunes I can't restore it. I've tried restarting the PC, and trying different USB ports to no avail.
WinXP SP3
Core2Quad Q9400
4GB RAM

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