Cannot update my ipad to iOS 5 and I do not get an error message

It just kepts trying to connect to the server, but it never does. I have backup the ipad several times without a problem. I DL the latest updates for itunes and my Mac, no problem, just the ipad updates will not work? Help!
Thanks in advance!

Welcome to Apple Support Communities.
If you have no compelling reason for the update TODAY, wait a day or three and try again.
In the announcement yesterday, Apple said there are over 300 million iOS devices (combined sales of iPhone, iPod Touch, and iPad since 2007) out there, and 62 million were sold in the last quarter.
So many of those multiple millions of people worldwide have been notified within the last 24 hours that their iPhones, iPads, and iPod Touches have the iOS 5.1 update available.
Even with the huge server farms Apple has installed, when millions of people try to download the same update at the same time, network congestion happens.
If possible, download the iOS update to your Mac. Then you can install it on all your iDevices 'offline' at your convenience.

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