Cant connect on xbox 360 chat with my friend

i cant connect with just one of my friends on xbox 360 is there like a gaming mode i change to make so i can?

Ok we have done everything we can think of  on our WRT54G router including
Set static IP address on the xBox
Enabled DMZ with xBox static IP address
Port forwarding NOT enabled
MTU at 1364
QoS "Highest" for Mac address of Xbox 360
Security ,  "Filter IDENT (Port 113)" is the only one checked
Upgraded firmware
and either hard wired or wireless connected get "Can't connect to the Xbox LIVE Party."
every thing else works fine. 
Only way it works is to connect the xBox directly to the DSL Modem
Any help?

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