Cant Get it to connect

I Hook up my ipod to the comp. and then it says do not disconnect but it doesnt come up on my iTunes menu so i cant add song. and also then when i unplug the ipod its charged but it says connect to iTunes to restore but it wont commect so Please Help.
Much Gratitude

does she show up in your itunes source list if you put her into disk mode first?
Putting iPod into Disk Mode

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