Cant seem to transfer a file over to my new mac wirelessly!

Ok so first off i dont want to buy an external hard drive or any form of SSD.
I want to trasnfer my iPhoto library from my old mac to my new mac, i am aware of whtat file and how to do it! but its bloody 20gb and so doesnt fit on my usb to trasnfer it!!
So im trying to find means of wirelessly trasnferring the file ...dropbox and email wont allow me to do it due to the largeness of the file......and so im left with file sharing and airdrop.
Airdrop has been working fine a few times i used it! However everytime i send my iphoto library pckg via airdrop on my new mac it says "oldmac" canceled the traasnfer (when i didnt!!) ...all the time!! SO this seems to be a no!
Then filesharing ....on both my macs file sharing optn is on and is on so any file and any person can read and write ...(very safe lol)
YET on my new mac i dont know how i can actually contact/connect or find my old mac!!? i know the old mac should appear on the sidebar in finder under shared!! BUT ITS NOT THERE!!! grrr its not there and i checked on finder preferences and all things are checked to show on my finder!!? please im doing something wrong how can i file share???
IF this wont work either does anyone else know a way i can trasnfer my iphoto library???

I can think of Three quick ways
1) Buy this $30 dongle.
http://store.apple.com/us/product/MC531ZM/A/apple-ipad-camera-connection-kit
Take a 3 photos with a camera using a clean SD Card.   Take the SD card out of your camera and into an adapter on your computer. Put the MOV file in the DCIM folder of the SD card. Now put the SD card into your iPad using the $30 dongle.   Go to the photos app, then import. You should see 3 photos and the MOV on your ipad.
2) If you have a mac get the MOV imported into iPhoto.   Then put the MOV into an album in iPhoto. Connect your ipad and mac with a usb cord.   Now in iTunes go deep into the settings to sync that album. Press SYNC.   Disconnect the ipad from the mac, and you should see the MOV on the ipad in your photos or video APP.   (iPhoto is only made for the mac)
3) If the MOV file is small, under 25mb, most email programs will let you email the MOV. Send on your desktop, then go to the ipad, check email, and then download.
footnotes on DCIM folder
http://www.techhive.com/article/217111/dcim_folder.html

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