Cant stop emails from downloading iPhone 3G

I just got my 3g not to long ago. However, im having some issues with emails.
I have it set to fetch manually, have push turned off.
I want to be able to download my emails ONLY if i choose. I dont want it to push to my phone. I have tried everything, but no matter what, my emails will continue to download throughout the day. Its random times too.
I have tried a Reset, please dont ask again..working on my 4th already.
Is there some setting im missing? IM sure i got it all...a few different places.
I just dont understand why you dont have a send and receive button for each email account.

Jailbroken phones can run apps in background, among other things. So mail could run at the same time with other apps. When phones do odd things that most people don't see the first thought is that the phone isn't normal.
I tried to duplicate the issue you posted. I sent an email to a POP3 account, then opened the brown Contacts icon. The phone did not retrieve the email.
I then sent an email to an IMAP account on the phone, and opened Contacts. Again, the phone did not retrieve the email.
Next I sent an email to an Exchange push account I have on the iPhone. This time the badge on the mail app showed 1 message, which is what I would expect. I again opened Contacts and the phone did not retrieve any email.
Finally, I opened the mail app. The POP and IMAP messages were downloaded after I opened mail, not before. The Exchange push message was already there.
So I don't see why your phone is acting differently. All I can suggest at this point is to do a Restore as a new phone, then recreated your email accounts if you are sure push, notifications, and Fetch are all off.

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