Cant upload new songs in iTunes from new computer onto iPhone 3gs

How do I upload new songs in my new iTunes from my mac to my iphone 3gs WITHOUT deleting or replacing all the old songs? My old computer crashed and I have no way of accessing those old songs but I dont want to loose all 509 songs. some were burnt from CDs i no longer have some were purchased through iTunes etc...help please! i really like my old music and just want to update it.

By 'rebooted' do you mean that you only rebooted it, or that you reinstalled its software ?
If rebooted then aare the songs still on your computer, just not in iTunes - by default your iTunes library is stored under :
Mac OS X: /Users/username/Music
Windows XP: \Documents and Settings\username\My Documents\My Music\
Windows Vista: \Users\username\Music\iTunes
Windows 7 and Windows 8: \Users\username\My Music\iTunes
If it's there then File > Add To Library in iTunes should let you add it back.
If not then you should be able to copy iTunes purchases (including apps, films etc) back from your phone via File > Devices > Transfer Purchases.
For non-iTunes purchases (and for purchases if need be) there are some programs listed half-way down this page which can copy them back : Recover your iTunes library from your iPod or iOS device
Then add them to iTunes via File > Add To Library
If iTunes thinks that you are trying to sync the phone to a new computer : Syncing to a "New" Computer or replacing a "crashed" Hard Drive

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    For non-iTunes purchases (and for purchases if need be) there are some programs listed half-way down this page which can copy them back : Recover your iTunes library from your iPod or iOS device
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    If iTunes thinks that you are trying to sync the phone to a new computer : Syncing to a "New" Computer or replacing a "crashed" Hard Drive

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