Change reply to accept or decline iCal event

How does one change an iCal reply from Accept to Decline, or from Decilne to Accept?
Can one make a comment upon replying?
When I sent an iCal invitation to my husband, he declined it, but later he wanted to accept it. We cannot figure out how he can change his reply.
I use iCal on my Mac and iOS devices. He does not use iCal; he uses Windows. (He doesn't know how to save the ics to his calendar, either, but I will send him some How-to links on that process.)

I had this trouble -- until I made sure that in my Contacts -- under the "Me" person -- I had every email address as used by whomever -- set in my personal contact.  Seems like if the address they use isn't associated with yourself, you can't reply (because it doesn't think its you of course). 
By "Me" of course, I don't me an entry named "Me" but rather the entry for yourself that has a shadow of a face next to it and when you see/edit it -- in the photo area has a little "me" .

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