Chat with only one person, but be invisible to others

It seems to be impossible to initiate a chat with someone while invisible. I want to chat with my wife while I am on a business trip, but I don't want to be interrupted by my other friends who are online at the time.
I can set my status to "away", but I'd rather just be invisible. Is there a way to have a private chat without anyone else being able to interrupt?

That is strange as I can start Text chats and Video chats whilst Invisible.
On your wife's end what is here Security Setting (Block and Allow List in iChat > Preferences > Accounts > Security tab) ?
9:15 PM Thursday; August 21, 2008

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