Computer recognizes iphone, but will not allow transfer of songs or video

I have itunes latest version on my two computers.  I upgrade my iphone 4 to IOS5.  My iphone works fine on one computer.  The computer recognizes the iphone and allows the transfer of music and video.  On the second computer, the iphone is recognized, but will not transfer music or videos.  I get the big stop sign when trying to move music or video onto the phone.  The phone is enabled on bot h computers.  Help!!  Advice? 

"that's the way things work with an iPhone".....This is why I HATE this approach!! Why did they on purpose make life hard for the user? I need to do some clean-up on the tags of my music, I do not want to transfer anything from/to another computer, why do I have to use workaround, non-official solutions ?? According to the Apple support site, you can manually manage music on several computers, except NOT for the iPhone

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