Configuring iSight??

Question

I bought a new Apple computer last month. I bought an iSight camera and also bought an iSight for my son living across the country. He has a iBook he bought earlier this year (new). Is there some trick to this? We are unable to connect with Video to each other (getting error/insufficient bandwith messages). I have checked the bandwidth speed for my computer online myself and with my server and it seems sufficient. I am plugged in with the firewire directly into my computer. I have DSL (no router). I read a number of articles last night and I went into System Preferences and Quicktime and set the "Stream" rate at lowest setting for DSL. I set the prefs for iSight at lowest for DSL. I have no problems with regular chatting. I see myself in my screen when I go to preview. So does he (himself). He uses a router and changed between 2 routers last night and used another from a different location this morning (his work as a computer programmer). Still no connection. I turned off the Firewall. I turned the other computer in our house. I unplugged my firwire ext. hard drive. I went into System prefs - Sharing - Firewall - hit "new" - chose "Other" - under TCP Port numbers I added 5190, 5298 - under UDP Port numbers I added 5060, 5190, 5297, 5298, 5353, 5678, 16384-16403 - and named it "iChat AV". (I read this in an article on a website concerning iChat AV). Still nothing. I called the local Apple Store and they tried connecting with me in iChat video and we both got the same error message.. I called Apple support, they told me to call the server. I called the server, they told me to call Apple.
I cannot find another thing to try and I am not a computer expert. Why is this so difficult? Can someone tell me what to try next? Thanks. (I haven't seen my son in over a year and I am dying to get this working).

Answer 1

This part gets confusing for me.
There is a line from the phone jack that goes into the modem, a phone line that goes into the 2Wire, there is a line (ethernet) from the 2Wire to the modem, and ethernet line out to the computer from the 2Wire. I have PC Port (2Wire) USB adapters on the 2 computers in the bedrooms connecting through the phone lines. I don't know if I described this clearly enough, but it has worked for me for several years now. By not mentioning Router, I meant like wireless, or Airport.