Conflict between MAIL and AOL - cannot send! same port?

I just spent an hour on the phone with a very nice Apple tech and it turns out that the reason I cannot send mail (I can, intermittently) on my Mac mail application is that it conflicts (he believes) with aol, i.e. perhaps they are sharing the same port.
The error message says mail cannot be delivered on Port 25 - but when I sign out of aol, mail works!
Is there a way to adjust the port aol uses, or make some other change with aol so I can have both app's open at the same time?

I don't use the aol browser, but I do like to sign on directly
to check my "other" (i.e. aol) email, use the address book, etc.
Apple provides what is called the AOL Service Assistant which will transfer (from the AOL program) your AOL email account or accounts to the Mail application, AOL address book contacts to the Address Book application and I believe it will also transfer AOL bookmarks to Safari so you can dump using what is a VERY old program for OS X which I doubt AOL will provide another update for.
I have no idea if it is possible to change the port used by the AOL program and I'm not even sure if the AOL program uses an SMTP server for sending messages with an AOL account.

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