Confused about iTunes and home sharing

My family of 4 has been using iTunes for a number of years with our iPhones (4 iPhones) but this home sharing has me confused and maybe I have been doing things wrong. Right now we have four different PCs, iTunes is installed on each computer. Each computer has it's own library. Each iPhone is synced with a different PC with its own library. Each of us have our own iTunes account with a different email address (so 4 different accounts), the two kids have their own credit card associated with their own accounts (I do not want to pay for their purchases), my wife and I have the same credit card with our two different accounts.
So when I try to set up home sharing it wants me to put my wife's account into the home sharing on my machine and her machine so does that mean you can only share across one account? So she could not see items on my machine but I could access items on her machine? Does that mean the kids cannot share their purchases with both of us via home sharing? Perhaps my wife and I should start sharing the same iTunes account since the money comes from the same credit card.
In the future I may purchase a laptop in addition to my desktop. So I would install iTunes on it and it would start with a different library than my desktop (although I believe I could copy the desktop library to the laptop initially) Does the laptop need a different iTunes account or could it keep the same one that I have on my desktop? How do I easy keep the libraries in sync and can I sync my iPhone with either my desktop or laptop and not get the iPhone or me confused.
Please help thanks

The iTunes/AppleTV/iOS comms system does seem to get easily confused at times even when it's worked peefectly for months.
I've never felt these services which detect each other automatically are particularly good at re-establishing lost connections without restarting one or several components and as you suggest may be linked to IP addresses changing and devices still looking for each other on old IP addresses which have changes.
Try restarting the Time Capsule - I had issues out of the blue last year, iTunes restart helped temporarily but the fix was a router power down and reboot (it had been on for months).
Recently since 5.3, one of my AppleTV 3's has been very flaky with wifi - drops Home Sharing while loading a film then instantly finds it again once the film has stopped - wifi strength listed as full strength - might be interference but ethernet has fixed it for now.
AC

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